BAR (Building Authentic Relationships) Retreat

On March 27-29, a group of 63 youth and adults from seven IN-MI Conference churches attended the BAR (Building Authentic Relationships) Retreat at Amigo Centre.

BAR Retreats are designed to prepare young people for marriage. High school juniors and seniors meet together for the weekend to talk about marriage and to reflect on Christ-centered relationships that prepare them for marriage. These retreats are organized and led by youth pastors.

The vision for BAR Retreats came eight years ago when Merle Hostetler, youth pastor at East Goshen (Ind.) Mennonite, overheard some youth declaring that they would never get married because all marriages end in divorce. Their hopelessness inspired Merle to dream of ways to better prepare youth for marriage.

The mission of BAR Retreats is for young people to become dating and marriage partners who exemplify the qualities of Christ.

Throughout the BAR Retreat weekend, youth learn about a variety of marriage topics led by different youth pastors. These topics include: understanding how our past informs our future, personality profiles, communication skills, intimacy and dreams for marriage. This year youth also played glow-in-the-dark dodge ball, acted out role plays, engaged case studies, discussed questions in table groups, and dressed up for a dessert banquet and panel discussion.

In the evaluations at the end of the weekend, one youth commented that the best part of the weekend was “actually seeing that marriage is possible. Divorce is everywhere. It was nice to see couples that make marriage work.”

Other youth shared that they learned how important it is to listen to their family, friends and God. It put another youth at ease to “know that everyone else here is feeling the uncertainty that I am, and that people share my feelings.” Others realized how important it is to prepare for marriage by learning how to be a good friend first.

The youth pastors who plan the BAR Retreat will be leading a seminar at Mennonite Church USA Convention 2009 (Columbus, Ohio) on Wednesday at 3 p.m., to encourage other youth workers to consider leading their own BAR Retreat.

Churches involved in BAR Retreat 2009 were: Clinton Frame Mennonite (Goshen, Ind.), College Mennonite (Goshen), East Goshen Mennonite, First Mennonite of Middlebury (Ind.), Howard-Miami Mennonite (Kokomo, Ind.), North Main Street Mennonite (Nappanee, Ind.), Sunnyside Mennonite (Elkhart, Ind), and Yellow Creek Mennonite (Goshen).